- Listening To: My Eulogy by Various Artists
He is about to graduate! I do feel old as crap at times, but HE IS ABOUT TO GRADUATE!!!
It seems like a very long time ago in many ways but in reality, it is not. Tanner is Back when I first started babysitting him we use to watch the movie Shrek together. Shrek came out in 2001, the same year Tanner was born. Tanner use to lay on my tummy as we watched it and there were certain parts in it he giggled at uncontrollably. I would rewind it and watch it over and over and it got the same reaction out of him each time. My God; itis 2019 now and he is about to graduate. Plus he intends on going to Baptists Medical Sciences College in Memphis for the first step in his college life? Did I mention we use to watch Shrek with him on my tummy?
Slipping
One other grandson, Ethan is also graduating in two months. I have not seen him in about two years but right now I really don’t want to go there. He is the doll on the left in this image of them. Missing him a lot lately, but, when Renetta died, the importance in the stepdad scenario came crashing down on me in a huge wave concerning part of my family. Again I am not going there right now. But Legally I am alone when it comes to blood relatives I use to call my family, legally. I AM NOT GOING THERE OK?
Crashing
Too Late..I’m there. I remember back when I first was married I would go to the elementary school to Pick up the kids. I got this book from the library and it was about being a step parent. One of the first pages had this big print it: “Basically You Have No Rights”, but that can never stop you from loving your new kids. Man did I Struggle reading that book but I finished it and afterward, felt confused somewhat. I still am.
Some people would say I am a failure. I live with my (step) son and his family, I miss my stepdaughter Darla and her family. Ethan is her son. I have this fear that the bonds broke somewhat when my wife died. This hurt is not all my fault, OK?
Landing
The post started out to be about Tanner. I have his old room. He lives now in the awesome upstairs. I love this room. It kind of reminds me of some of the time I spent in the military. It’s confining somewhat, but it feels good; secure. And Max is with me. He’s dying ya know. But as long as I feel he is not hurting to live, I will take care of him every waking moment. He’s my best friend. Sometimes, he feels as if he’s my only friend, but that’s ok.
The last image here is of Tanner and Brennan. I love her so much. They seem to make a great couple and I hope they stay together. They both are solid Christians and live life the right way in my opinion. Time will tell as they both start college this fall. Did I mention they are going to the same school? She is planning on becoming a nurse!
And me, I can’t get that song out of my head when Donkey and Shrek first got to the……did I mention he laid on my tummy and giggled his ass off.