I posted this a few weeks ago after my ex mother in law suddenly passed away.
I lost someone yesterday that has been in my life for more than 60 years. During my marriage of 29 years to her daughter, she was my mother-in-law. Before that, she and her family lived next door to me during my childhood from when I was 5 until I went to college and the Joined Air Force. She and her husband still lived at the same place through out both of their lives. During my teen years she always welcomed me into her house with open arms as I frequently came down and played with her two kids, one I would eventually marry much later on. And then my mom dies when i was 15.
To say I was a handful is very much an under-statement. And though I was rebellious to be certain, she would watch over me as much as she could or as much as I would stubbornly allow. I will never forget when I was in the USAF, she would write to me and always sign her name and then in parenthesis, (sec mom). In 1981 she became my mother-in-law, and even though we had our differences at times, she always did have my respect, even though I may not have shown it, that respect was very personal, I think for us both. My marriage lasted 29 years and she never one time called me into her home to question me for the break-up, or why it happened, or could it have been prevented. I guess in a way, she must have had a tad bit of respect for me not to hate me or shun me away which she could have done easily. My marriage ended because of one thing only, I failed as a husband by not prioritizing my life at home over my life at other places, mainly managing a race track which consumed way too much of my time, its not a case of live and learn, it was a case of lived foolishly, and lost.
But this is not about my failed marriage, or the death of my ex wife; her daughter, two years ago which hit a lot of us hard in different ways. Rather this is about the death of Willie Lepard; My ex mom in law, my kids grand-mother, and my grand-kids great grandmother. She had to go into the hospital last week for a lung infection and as recently as yesterday morning, she was alert sitting on the side of her bed talking about when she could go home. And then around mid-morning, her breathing became shallow and in less than an hour, she was gone.
I got to thinking last night about how my son and daughter are taking this; not so good to be expected; as is my grand-kids. I got to feeling really guilty as hell for numerous reasons, in fact more than numerous reasons. I had known this lady for most all my life. I had known her in the best of times, and in the worst of times, and every time I saw her, it was like we had been friends and close all our lives; and then I realized, we had. She didn’t judge me, and she sure had her chances to do so. It was her strong devotion to her Christian life that made her the dear soul she really was. I need to learn some parts of that quality of life she had if there is still time for me to do so. Her passing just brings everything a bit closer to reality. It is just another brick in my wall of not only feeling older, but being older.
I have lost my mom, my dad, my ex wife, my father-in-law, and now my mother-in-law, all to cancer or heart disease, except Ms Willie as she was 80+ and just ran out of time in this life. She was a dear lady who came into my life at a very early time and never left. That’s a quality that is special. I guess I am just realizing how special that really was.
RIP Ms Willie. God has you home now. Rest dear soul
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